The Value of Play

I had the privilege of hearing a young lady in our second grade recite the following poem. Not only was the recitation well done; I was reminded of the value of stories and free play in our children’s lives. Read and imagine!! 

People think it's only a garden,

With roses along the wall;

I'll tell you the truth about it

It isn't a garden at all!

It's really Robin Hood's forest,

And over by that big tree

Is the very place where fat Friar Tuck

Fought with the Miller of Dee.

And back of the barn is the cavern

Where Rob Roy really hid;

On the other side is a treasure chest

That belongs to Captain Kidd.

That isn't a pond you see there,

It's the ocean deep and wide,

Where six-masted ships are waiting

To sail on rising tide.

Of course it looks like a garden,

It's all so sunny and clear ---

You'd be surprised if you really knew

The things that have happened here! 

-- The Secrets of Our Garden, Rupert Sargent Holland

For more thoughts on the value of play: Corey Shuffle

Photo Albums and Home Videos

My youngest graduates from high school next week. I am still convinced that I am not old enough for that to be happening. However, it does cause me to reminisce as we have looked through his pictures. These snapshots can bring both laughter and tears as we consider the memories. If we were to watch old videos, we would be able to remember even more of how this young man’s personality developed over the years.

It is also the time of year when schools complete their annual testing. These, too, can bring tears (and maybe incredulous laughter). However, I believe that the illustration of photo albums and home videos provide perspective as to the purpose and interpretation of the different methods that are used to evaluate your child’s academic progress. The snapshots in our photo albums are like the annual testing that occurs whether you call them SOLs, PSSAs, Stanford or TerraNova. They are an important part of the academic portfolio, but they are only a reflection on how your child did at that particular moment on that particular test. It is a snapshot; rich with information, but we have all been captured on film with a not-so-flattering expression on our face. J The ongoing, daily assessment that occurs in the classroom is like a home video. Teachers and parents partnering together to share observations, encouragement, exhortations and progress reports enhances the information gleaned through the annual testing.  Just like photo albums and home videos work together to provide your family with memories; annual testing and daily assessment work together to portray a complete picture of your child’s academic progress. Educators and parents must see these tools in the proper perspective in order for a complete picture of the child to become clear.

Note: TerraNova and Stanford Achievements Tests are examples

of norm-referenced tests while PSSAs, SOLs and other state administered federally mandated tests are criterion-referenced tests. The criterion-referenced tests are typically referred to as high stakes tests as a public school's funding and rating is affected by the results.

(Pros and Cons of High-Stakes Testing).

A Tribute to a Teacher

As a 23-year-old laid-off flour mill worker, I stepped nervously into a familiar yet foreign room. As a graduate of Blue Ridge Christian School, I had been in this room countless times. In fact, during my years as a student this room was the music room. This time, however, I was entering as a substitute teacher. The first group of students was an energetic group of freshman English students. I introduced myself, gave instructions, then settled into the teacher’s desk and attempted to look “teacherly.” When I glanced down, it hit me! Actually it did; the “it” being a paper wad. I knew enough not to overreact: I had been fairly adept at testing substitutes when I had been a student a few short years before. I scanned the group looking for clues. I knew the line of fire so it did not take long determine the perpetrator. I called the young man to the desk and asked his name. He told me a name, but I had heard him called “Wes” as he came into the class. I asked again. Same answer. I asked if he was interested in a walk to the office with me between classes to talk about this situation. Knowing the great consequences of continuing the lie, he quickly recanted his original story. I fell in love with the classroom at that very moment.

This past week the teacher who providentially was sick that day went home to be with the Lord. Miss Norma Jean Taylor left an impact on the hearts and minds of many young people, but I am not sure that I ever told her that her absence gave me a passion for investing in young people. I was blessed to have served alongside Miss Taylor for several years; she was true friend and dedicated colleague. I am rejoicing with her as she celebrates God’s grace in His presence; free from pain. She is standing among the “great cloud of witnesses” encouraging those who have been touched by her legacy including my niece and nephew.

Check out these links.

http://www.edweek.org/chat/2006/03/23/transcript_03_23_2006.html

http://www.edweek.org/tm/articles/2006/03/01/05taylor.h17.html (a free login is required)

First Do No Harm

“Half of the harm that is done in this world is due to people who want to feel important. They don't mean to do harm. But the harm does not interest them.”

T. S. Eliot

If you are like me, you have wasted time trying to get into the mind of another; especially those who have chosen to hurt you. The poet, T. S. Eliot, made the above astute observation concerning the motives of those who hurt others. I was challenged by this thought during the Sunday message on the betrayal of Jesus by Judas. We do not know exactly what Judas was trying to accomplish when he agreed to turn Jesus over to the authorities. He temporarily profited from his agreement, however, some have speculated that he was trying to hasten the arrival of the kingdom of which Jesus spoke. He really meant no harm. While I cannot compare my trials to those experienced by Jesus following his betrayal, I have experienced the pain of harm caused by others.

As I pondered the actions of Judas and the thoughts of T. S. Eliot, I have come to believe that Eliot did not come to his conclusion by searching the heart of others (who, but God, can really do that anyway), but his own heart. I came to this deduction by peering into my own heart. I don’t mean any harm, but my own interests take priority and rip through lives of others with abandon. What is the cure to the recklessness that runs so deep in my heart? It comes in the Person who was betrayed by Judas. The harm that Jesus faced on the cross is the violent, but necessary payment for the betrayal that has corrupted my own heart. Yet, Jesus faced that harm with my best interest in mind. And He did the same for you!

“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross. Therefore God also has highly exalted Him and given Him the name which is above every name, that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of those in heaven, and of those on earth, and of those under the earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”

Philippians 2:3-11

Thou Shalt Not Taser Thy Brother

This week is National Police Week. In 1962, President Kennedy proclaimed May 15th as National Peace Officers Memorial Day. In honor of those who protect and serve, I am republishing a tribute I wrote about my brother when he retired a few years ago. Thank you to all serve our communities faithfully!

A memoir of the service of Major Dale Barlow upon his retirement as a police officer following 30 years of faithful service to the citizens of Kansas City, Missouri. I am very proud of you, Dale.

Introduction
Dale is eleven years my elder. A fact that I don’t want to be lost as you read this short book, not only so that he is reminded of that fact, but also because I cannot guarantee the accuracy of all my memories. My brother was married at age 20 to Janet Louise Redfern and moved away from our home. Even though we shared a bedroom for a time, we did not really begin a true friendship until I was a young adult. I chose not to attempt to confirm my memories but decided that a romantic view of my older brother’s exploits would be easier and probably more interesting. If my information is incomplete or in error, please do not tell me. I prefer, as his much younger brother, to keep my childhood fantasies of his greatness.

Wanna see what I learned today . . .
“Don’t tase me, bro!” When I heard those desperate words from the young University of Florida student who had disrupted a forum that was hosted by Senator John Kerry, I remember being thankful that this technology had not existed 30 years earlier. After Dale’s acceptance into the Kansas City Police Academy, I am sure he had no idea what was ahead for him. He was, however, learning the tools of the trade that would allow him to subdue and control those who intended to harm others. I never could understand why he felt it necessary to practice such tools on his skinny preteen brother, but whenever he would stop for a visit, I learned to fear the words, “wanna see what I learned today?” I was constantly amazed at the uses for a two-foot nightstick. 

A car dealer, a dog, a fence and a broken leg.
Not understanding inter-department cooperation or protocol, I was curious, but not concerned when a Raytown policeman pulled into our driveway. I was in the garage and remember the officer speaking with dad, telling him that his son, Dale, had been injured in the line of duty. As a parent and spouse, I now understand that a police cruiser in the driveway is the most feared vision of anyone related to a police officer. I can only image the terror that Janet faced when the officer approached her home and the “relief” that she felt when the officer reported that Dale had “only” broken his leg. A routine call to a car dealership, a guard dog, a chase (that I believe was immortalized in a sketch by a fellow officer), a fence, a curb: all this culminated in a tense visit by the above officers to report the injury and summer’s worth of free lawn service provided by yours truly. (Actually, I can’t remember if they paid me or not!)

ADI questions about Officer Harold Barlow. . . a jumper thwarted
Dale and I both spent some time working at my dad’s company, Automotive Distributors Incorporated (ADI). When someone at ADI spoke of Harold, they were talking about our dad. But one morning, I was approached by several coworkers asking about a news report of an Officer Harold Barlow that had thwarted a young man’s attempt to jump from a bridge. Those that knew Dale asked me if that was my brother, some were amazed to learn that Dale was a junior, Harold Dale Barlow, Jr. I still don’t remember many details of what actually happened, but I was proud to say that Harold was my brother!

Ride along after graduation . . .
I had to take a nap so that I would be ready to stay up all night. I was 18 and could experience personally what my brother did to keep the streets of Kansas City safe. I entered the station and unceremoniously signed the release forms. (I might die that night!) I had looked forward to the citizen ride-along program. Things I learned: how quickly Dale could spotlight a rabbit on the side of the road, that crying really does work for a girl who is pulled over without a license, and how to light a flare. What I did not learn but wish I could have: how to unlock the shotgun when he left me in the soon very surrounded squad car in the projects. Most of the morning was spent lighting flares after we responded to an accident that involved a young lady folded neatly under her steering wheel after she hit a telephone pole. She didn’t seem to be in much pain since much of the floorboard of her car was covered with self-administered painkiller. The pole tilted precariously so we blocked traffic for the rest of your shift, even John Wagner, Sky Spy, complained of the utility work being done during rush hour traffic. Thank you for a memorable eight hours!

Pray, this one is dangerous . . .
The pressure from police departments on each coast caused many drug-producing gangs to move into the interior of our country, including Kansas City. As a member of the Support Unit and Street Narcotics Unit, Dale spent much of his career “busting” drug houses. When he visited us in Saginaw, Michigan, he would describe the floor plans in some of the older inner city homes that we lived near. I was reminded of just how much danger Dale faced when Janet would call and say “Pray today, I cannot tell you anything, but pray.” Many of the busts were far from routine because the gangs had reputations as “cop killers.” Pray, we did.

Commitment to grow . . . back to school
A job well done and a love for police work can only take you so far. Dale certainly had both, but a bachelor’s degree would be necessary for him to advance in the department. It is a challenge to return to school when you have a family, but Dale made the sacrifice of his time in order to achieve the rank of captain. 

Chapel at BRCS
“Put on your uniform and deal with it.” Dale was never comfortable in the spotlight. When my wife, Karen, asked him to speak for a chapel at Blue Ridge Christian School, Dale hesitated. He was concerned that he would be able to command the attention of these young people. Having seen my brother in action as a police officer, I knew that when he put on his uniform that he was a police officer that was trained to command any situation that he may face. The solution was easy, put on the uniform. He did a great job sharing truth with the young people.

With brothers like that, who needs . . . 
When Karen and I bought our second house in Raytown, we were blessed with neighbors that kept a constant eye on the house. If a light was left on during the night, we were sure to hear about it. We had lived in our new home for a short time when Dale decided to drop by our home one morning. Karen was incredibly embarrassed at the impression that his visit would have with our vigilant, observant new neighbors. He pulls into our driveway in his “unmarked” car and slowly approached our front door with his black jumpsuit with bold yellow letters that said “Street Narcotics.” Big enough to be seen without binoculars! I believe that we heard an audible gasp from their living rooms. Thanks for helping us make a great impression on our new neighbors!

Pictures say too much . . . images that haunt
We all carry tough memories of the challenges that our work entails. On one visit to Kansas City, Dale had pictures from a recent drug raid. I remember conditions that were not suitable for habitation. I have yet to shake the image of the precious little toddler that was living in that home, caged in a room by a dog gate and given little attention. The room was littered with diapers and plates of food, I can only imagine the smell. Dale, as you retire, remember that the work you did was often thankless, but you did make a difference. When the memories are hard, remember that fact!

If it needs to be done right . . . Computers and Y2K, Traffic and the election
I cannot get into the mind of the Chief of Police, but it seemed that when a job absolutely needed to be done right, Dale received the call. When Y2K threatened to shut down computers around the world, the police department is the last place that we would want to go “blind.” Not so much a computer nerd, but an effective leader, Dale assisted in making the Y2K event, a non-event. Presidential elections provide incredible logistical challenges for a big city in a battleground state, like Missouri. Candidates will make frequent trips and security must impeccable. Dale answered the department’s call again and served with distinction. His competence was confirmed when the Secret Service asked Dale’s department to assist in the security arrangements at a funeral for Senator Carnahan that would be attended by President Clinton and Vice-President Gore even though the funeral took place outside of Kansas City.

Another life saved . . . 
"About the time I truly started to panic, Dale showed up and if it wasn’t for him, Rebecca would not be here today.” Whether on duty or not, Dale lived by the motto, “To Protect and Serve.” The quote is from the mother of a young child who nearly drowned at a family Independence Day celebration. While off duty, Dale heard the panic of a mother’s cry and performed CPR until the toddler began breathing again. 

A leader of recruits . . .
Dale experienced the pleasures of a job well done as he served the people of Kansas City, but when assigned to Internal Affairs, he also witnessed those who abused their authority as police officers. He witnessed the personal choices of one of his mentors that destroyed this officer’s career and reputation. Armed with those experiences, he was well-equipped for his assignment as Director of the Kansas City Regional Police Academy. Following some misadventures among some recruits, Dale shared with these young men and women a lesson learned from his years of experience. He told them that to be effective civil servants, they must not let these four “L’s” control them: Lying, Lust, Lucre, and Liquor. It is an outline for a sermon that would make any Baptist preacher smile. I am thankful that my brother chose to live by the Truth he knows and boldly challenge these recruits.

“That’s just my brother and if you like, I can take him down!”
That is the thought that crossed my mind when Dale took me on a training session for the Police Academy at a vacant school building. When Dale and I entered a room full of young recruits, one snapped to attention and announced loudly, “Officer on the deck.” Each young person in the room snapped to attention until Dale humbly acknowledged them and gave them a brief pep talk. I realized that I had just witnessed the difference between the military requirement to salute rank and a spontaneous act of respect. 

A role model . . .
One of the desires for my two teenage boys, Zachary and Corey, is that they will have many examples of godly men in their lives. At the top of the list, I am thankful for the impact of their Uncle Dale in their young lives. A book titled, Tender Warrior, offers a title that would fit their uncle.

Is this the way to celebrate Mother’s Day?

Yesterday, Mrs. Ferrier, PCA’s Assistant Administrator, celebrated Mother’s Day by moving her oldest son out of her house and into a home of his own.  Your initial reaction might be; “What an awful way to spend Mother’s Day!” However, I believe this event symbolizes one of the most profound purposes of motherhood or for that matter parenthood. From the day that we first hold that precious baby in our arms, we are preparing him to leave.

If I could give one piece of advice to any young parent, it would be to begin with the end in mind. Before we had our children, my wife and I committed to that very purpose. Our goal for our children has been to instill in them that God is using us to equip them for the blessings and challenges that God is preparing for them in adulthood. Our task is to train them to be independent of us; yet utterly dependent on their Creator.

I am thankful that my son recognizes this truth.  In a recent birthday wish to his mom, he wrote the following words as he reflected on leaving home:

As you quickly approach the reality of the “empty nest,” do not think that your role in my and Corey’s life will in anyway be diminished.  It is true that the role will change form, but its importance will only grow.  As you grow older, your wisdom only increases, and with that, so does my need to partake of that knowledge.  Perhaps that is my selfish desire to avoid the mistakes that you made or avoid the mistakes you avoided, but regardless, it is a need that will never end.  As I begin to create an independent life, I ask that you intensify your prayers for me.  They are always much needed and always the most important thing that you can give to me.

Begin with the end in mind!

The following video shares this process from a dad’s perspective:

My son gave me permission to share his letter to his mom:  http://www.principalthoughts.net/2013/04/dear-mom.html

Who's Speaking into your Child?

One of the great privileges as a parent is having a conversation with a grown child. Both of my boys are now young adults; I am challenged and blessed by their independent thoughts concerning their relationship with the Lord, personal relationships, politics, etc. My wife and I dedicated ourselves to speaking Truth into lives for the past two decades. I would like to share with you something that I had to learn not to let irritate me.

On a few occasions, one of the boys would come home to share a profound insight concerning life that he had just learned from a teacher, coach or youth leader. As I listened to his excited description of this new found knowledge, I would begin to feel angry because his mother and I have been telling him the same thing for years. As my blood boiled, the Holy Spirit reminded me that this is how He works:  “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase. So then neither he who plants is anything, nor he who waters, but God who gives the increase” (I Corinthians 3:6-7). I had to stop and say, “thank you, Lord; my son gets it.” I am truly thankful for men and women that speak into my sons’ lives every day.

The impact of Christian education on my sons runs deep into their heart and mind. I cannot put a price tag on the significance of that investment. I know what I desired for my boys to know about life, purpose, gifting, leadership, and service based on their identity in Jesus Christ. I am beyond thankful for the teachers, scout leaders, Sunday school teachers, and youth leaders who desired the same thing for my boys. These men and women spoke into and modeled these Truths to my sons; and their influence is enduring. Who is speaking into your child?

Note: Thank a teacher with week – it is National Teacher Appreciation Week!!

Dad's Impact Part II

A Hallmark card summed up a dad’s impact in the following eloquent way:

If he’s wealthy and prominent, and you stand in awe of him, call him “Father.”  If he sits in his shirt sleeves and suspenders at a ballgame and picnic, call him, “Pop.”  If he wheels the baby carriage and carries bundles meekly, call him “Papa” (with the accent on the first syllable).  If he belongs to a

literary circle and writes cultured papers, call him “Papa” (with the accent on the last syllable).

If, however, he makes a pal of you when you’re good, and is too wise to let you pull the wool over his loving eyes when you’re not; if, moreover, you’re quite sure no other fellow you know has quite so fine a father, you may call him, “Dad.”

I want to focus on the role of dads, men who have been given the responsibility by God to be the head of their homes.  The relationship that dads develop with their children is one of the most significant of all human relationships.  It has been said that children view God based on what they observe in their dad’s life.  Because of that, dads, we need to examine God’s Word and commit to act in obedience to His commands.

In I Thessalonians 2:7-12, Paul describes his care for the church.  However, he does it in such tender terms that I believe it provides an excellent example for dads to follow in their families.  As Jonathan Edwards has said, “Every Christian family ought to be as it were a little church, consecrated to Christ, and wholly influenced and governed by His rules.”

But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children. So, affectionately longing for you, we were well pleased to impart to you not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives, because you had become dear to us.  For you remember, brethren, our labor and toil; for laboring night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, we preached to you the gospel of God.  You are witnesses, and God also, how devoutly and justly and blamelessly we behaved ourselves among you who believe;  as you know how we exhorted, and comforted, and charged every one of you, as a father does his own children,  that you would walk worthy of God who calls you into His own kingdom and glory.

Paul guided his spiritual family with these characteristics that we, as dads, can apply to our families.

GENTLENESS AND AFFECTION (vv. 7-8)

Paul could not have used a more amazing picture of gentleness.  The image of a nursing mother with her baby captures the heart of tenderness, selflessness, and bonding.  Men, we need to be the gentle giants of our families.  We cannot afford to model the world’s view of dads as cold and distant or weak and useless.  God has given us the duty to model the gentle strength our families need.

OPENNESS (v. 8)

We can become so busy making a living that we forget to teach our children how to live.  The time spent with our children making a school project, fishing, or just hanging out, provides our children with the opportunity to observe our reactions and attitudes.  Our time allows us “to impart not only the gospel of God, but also our own lives.”

COMMITMENT (vv. 9-10)

      Paul labored night and day.  Dads, we have a full-time responsibility.  We are not the “babysitter” that watches the kids when mom is not available.  Deuteronomy 6:4-9 demands that we recognize that it is our responsibility to teach and train our children.  Schools and churches may assist us, but the burden rests upon us to see that they are pointed to God.

LEADERSHIP (vv. 10-12)

      A dad is to lead his family on a “walk worthy of God.”  It begins with his example – devout, just, blameless – and continues in his discipline – exhort, comfort, charge.  A dad must lovingly discipline his children who stray from the path of righteousness.  Again, dads, we cannot pass the buck, this is our responsibility.

      Dads, Paul has given us an example to follow.  We must commit as Joshua did when he stated, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Suggestions for further reading:

      The Strong Family by Chuck Swindoll  Multnomah Press, 1991.

      Tender Warrior by Stu Weber Multnomah Press, 1993