Wednesday, November 28, 2012

I Don’t Love ’em Anymore


“I don’t love them anymore.” Over my years ministering to families, I have heard those words come from husbands and wives as they have chosen to leave a marriage, often after many years together. Adultery? No. Physical or emotional abuse? No. “I just don’t love ‘em anymore.” A decision leads to a change of heart that fractures a family.

Love as a decision? Our culture struggles with that concept. Reducing love to an emotional or physical response is a common attribute in pop culture from music, movies, and literature. Some form of commitment may result from this euphoric feeling, but it is hardly a firm foundation for an enduring relationship. There is a principle in Scripture that addresses this decision/feeling challenge. “Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.” The key is what comes first.

“I don’t love ‘em anymore.” Why did the heart wander? Treasure. When one decides to treasure something, an amazing transformation occurs in their heart. The key to a commitment that will stand in the midst of trouble: treasure. I don’t believe that one can “fall out of love.” One stops seeing another as a treasure and the heart pursues another treasure. The secret to commitment is what you choose to treasure.

This principle extends well beyond a marriage. Forgiveness begins with a decision. My heart rarely ever wants to forgive. But without that decision, without that treasure, my heart will not let it go. How can you apply the treasure principle?


Dedicated to the one I treasure and love with all my heart. I love you, Karen!

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