Corey Shuffle

Allow me to reminisce for a moment; my youngest has turned 18. One of my favorite sounds of his childhood is what we affectionately called the “Corey Shuffle.” He would read about or see something, then without saying a word to us, we would begin to hear it. Scratch, scratch, scratch, shuffle, shuffle, click, click. Those are the sounds of the search and rescue of just the right Lego from a crate. This cycle of sounds would continue, often for hours, until he emerged from the room with an amazing creation. He would then embark on a detailed explanation of the function of each part of this creation.

He was completely independent, completely isolated, yet demonstrated one of the most valuable activities in a child’s development: child-driven play. Peter Gray in Psychology Today states that “play, by definition, involves imagination. Play naturally leads us to think of things as they might be rather than just as they currently are.” Often, parents and teachers, in an effort to accomplish some lofty educational experience, limit the opportunity that children have to play. Pediatrics, the journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, emphasizes that “play allows children to use their creativity while developing their imagination, dexterity, and physical, cognitive, and emotional strength.” Play enhances brain development and appropriate interaction within the world where they live. One of our son’s teachers told us recently about how impressed he has been when he observes Corey clearly explaining the technical processes necessary in his CAD class to other students. I wonder if Legos had anything to do with that.

Child-driven play can be divided into a few categories:

• Solitary – children playing alone and independently, following their own interests without reference to others.
• Onlooker – children watch other children playing, ask questions and make suggestions, but do not enter into the play.
•  Parallel – children playing the same activity or with similar materials beside each other, but not talking or interacting with one another.
• Associative – children playing with each other, sharing similar materials and activities in an unorganized way.
• Cooperative – children working together and interacting, to play or create something in an organized and purposeful way.  (adapted from The Value of Play by Mardi Lucich)

Here are some resources to consider:

• http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/200812/the-value-play-ii-how-play-promotes-reasoning-in-children-and-adults
• http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/119/1/182.full

Partnering with Your Child's Teacher

My wife and I are preparing for our last parent/teacher conference. Our youngest is a senior in high school (And yes, we still go!). Partnership is essential at all levels. As you have prepared to meet with your child's teacher, have you ever wondered, "What is he thinking? What motivates her?" As Christian teachers, there are principles that guide our interactions with your child. The Bible teaches these principles through warnings, blessings and joys that directly impact those who minister in Christian education. In a recent discussion with the PCA faculty, they shared some of these thoughts that influence how they approach the classroom and your child.

When asked what is the strongest warning for teachers found in Scripture, the answer came quickly – millstone.  For those that know that reference, you will understand why it brings chills to a teacher. “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea” (Matthew 18:6). Furthermore, we are warned, “not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly” (James 3:1). The influence that we have on your children comes with an immense level of responsibility. It is not taken lightly.

However, heeding these warnings prepares us for the incredible blessings reserved for teachers. One blessing comes from appreciating that teaching is both a gift and calling from God (I Corinthians 12:28, Romans 12:7). Just like David, we have the honor of sharing the story of redemption based on what Jesus has done for us. “Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me. Then I will teach transgressors your ways, so that sinners will turn back to you” (Psalm 51:12,13). Ultimately, we have the privilege to represent Jesus each day to your child.

As we partner with parents, we respect the challenges faced in raising children. You are a partner in both the warnings and blessings discussed because you are your child’s primary teacher (Deuteronomy 6:6,7). We also share the ultimate goal that many of you have for your children. “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth” (III John 4).  And that is well worth partnering with you to accomplish!

Contributing to the Mess

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

I am a dad for two young men and this verse scares me. My fear is not an irrational fear because when it comes to provoking, I have skills! Those “skills” are why God specifically addresses fathers in this context. Dads, our parenting pendulum can swing from controlling to passive; and both are ripe for provoking. 

What I want my boys to know is that I contribute to the mess daily. Life is messy as sin, including my own, destroys relationships, breaks trust, defrauds others, and . . . (I could go on!). My boys are often on the front row as I make my contribution.  I, also, want my boys to know that their dad is in desperate need of the grace found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Some of the most profound conversations that I have had with my boys began with me sitting on the edge of their bed asking for their forgiveness.  I want my life to be a window through which my boys witness the power of Jesus Christ on a messy life.

Our children do not need to see our composure and accomplishments as much as they need to see God’s transforming power in our lives. Listen to these two powerful verses from Romans 7 as the Apostle Paul shares about his contribution to the mess.: “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?  I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Paul contributed to the mess, but was transformed by the Gospel. That is what I want my boys to see in me.

Can You Trust Me?

“My soul wait silently for God alone, for my expectation is from Him.”
Psalm 62:5

If you are looking for reasons not to trust me, I can certainly provide you with several! The folly of such trust is universal in the human race. This theme permeates Scripture: “It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to trust in man,” “Put not your trust in princes, in a son of man, in whom there is no salvation,” and “Stop regarding man in whose nostrils is breath, for of what account is he?”

Despite the reasons not to trust, the foundation of any relationship is trust, including institutional relationships.  Prominent researchers in leadership and organizational development describe the impact of trust. “The first job of any leader is to inspire trust. Trust is confidence born of two dimensions: character and competence. Character includes your integrity, motive, and intent with people. Competence includes your capabilities, skills, results, and track record. Both dimensions are vital.” (Stephen Covey) “Credibility is the foundation of leadership. Constituents must be able, above all else, to believe in their leaders. For them to willingly follow someone else, they must believe that the leader’s word can be trusted, that she is personally passionate and enthusiastic about the work, and that she has the knowledge and skill to lead.” (Barry Posner and James Kouzes) To trust or not to trust; how do we reconcile such a contradiction?

The Best Christian Workplaces Institute addresses the issue of institutional trust in a July 2010 blog, A Biblical Model for Organizational Values. The source of trustworthiness can be found in Micah 6:8 – “He has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?” Here is where the organizational researchers discovered the Biblical truth of competence and character in building trust: doing justly promotes right actions and loving mercy connects with character. A humble or dependent walk with God becomes the foundation upon which trust is built.

So, can you trust me? I personally would not recommend it. I can confidently and without reservation declare that you can trust the God I serve. The One for whom my soul waits silently will meet my expectations and is worthy of my (and your) trust. You can trust Him!!