Contributing to the Mess

“Fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

I am a dad for two young men and this verse scares me. My fear is not an irrational fear because when it comes to provoking, I have skills! Those “skills” are why God specifically addresses fathers in this context. Dads, our parenting pendulum can swing from controlling to passive; and both are ripe for provoking. 

What I want my boys to know is that I contribute to the mess daily. Life is messy as sin, including my own, destroys relationships, breaks trust, defrauds others, and . . . (I could go on!). My boys are often on the front row as I make my contribution.  I, also, want my boys to know that their dad is in desperate need of the grace found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Some of the most profound conversations that I have had with my boys began with me sitting on the edge of their bed asking for their forgiveness.  I want my life to be a window through which my boys witness the power of Jesus Christ on a messy life.

Our children do not need to see our composure and accomplishments as much as they need to see God’s transforming power in our lives. Listen to these two powerful verses from Romans 7 as the Apostle Paul shares about his contribution to the mess.: “O wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?  I thank God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” Paul contributed to the mess, but was transformed by the Gospel. That is what I want my boys to see in me.